i opened my Bible study book this morning and what should the title of today's section be? count your blessings.
ok, i get it.
i must admit i didn't get past the title this morning, so there may be some new insights about counting blessings tomorrow. this is not to say that i didn't learn anything at all, though.
i learned a little more about being still. my heart began beating furiously as soon as i woke up today and my mind felt like a jumbled mess. focusing my attention on anything was out of the question. i finally just stopped and pleaded with God in my journal. please hold me still. i need You to make me still. i laid on my bed and confessed some things. then i rambled for a while. my prayers are usually very rambly. i have looked back in my journal many times and wondered how in the world anyone could make sense of the jumbled words i put down on paper. then i realized how thankful i am that God can and does make sense out of all of it and even uses it, when all i can do is stare and shake my head in wonder.
eventually, i made my way downstairs and ended up on the couch, sitting on my hands. the warmth and pressure of my body on my hands felt good. and right somehow. like God was saying just be before Me, not doing anything but being with Me. i couldn't say anything for a long time and honestly didn't want to. it was still hard, but also a relief just to be there in silence in that moment. just me and Him.
today sitting on my hands was a blessing.
along with the yummy pancakes smothered in huckleberry syrup and ricotta cheese mom made for dinner. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment