it's all Him.

I've been camped in Psalm 8 the last few days. The night before I left home at the end of fall break my dad mentioned that he wanted me to read through Psalm 7-10. He didn't really give me a reason, but I didn't need one. My dad asked me to which was reason enough.

1 O Lord, our Lord, how excellent (majestic and glorious) is Your name in all the earth! You have set Your glory on [or above] the heavens.

2 Out of the mouth of babes and unweaned infants You have established strength because of Your foes, that You might silence the enemy and the avenger.

3 When I view and consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained and established,

4 What is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of [earthborn] man that You care for him?

5 Yet Your have made him but a little lower than God [or heavenly beings], and You have crowned him with glory and honor.

6 You made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet;

7 All sheep and oxen, yes, and the beasts of the field,

8 The birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, and whatever passes along the paths of the seas.

9 O Lord, our Lord, how excellent (majestic and glorious) is Your name in all the earth!

After printing out a copy of Psalm 8, I proceeded to pull out my colored pencils and scribbled all over the paper. Color and pictures help me focus in on the Holy Spirit's still small voice sometimes. I was struck by the fact that the phrase "You have" is repeated 6 times. There are three other similar phrases: "that You might silence the enemy," "You made," and "You care." It is amazing and saddening to me (it shouldn't be so amazing) how easily I slide into the thinking that I have done something, anything worthy of love or recognition from God. Or how I slip into the mindset that I am strong enough in myself to go through the battles of the day. I basically tell the Lord, "Hey, I've got this one. I think I have a better plan and I don't think You'll do it good enough. I'll come back when I need you." God allows me to traipse off on my own, patiently waiting for my return to Him when I find out yet again that I can't do anything on my own.

I have found myself telling God quite a bit lately that I've got it under control and I step away from Him. Pretty soon I'm feeling totally out of control again. Slowly, the time gap between when I go off on my own strength and then realize, "Oh Lord, I just did it again. Please help me to turn back," is shortening. The past few weeks I have been meeting with my advisors to work on my schedule for the spring semester and starting to think about what I am going to be doing in the summer. Summer, and even spring for that matter is a far ways off, but I have to start thinking about it now, which is kind of scary in a way. The temptation to think too much (in my case it often turns to worry) about it and try to plan it on my own strength and wisdom has been ever present. I believe this is one reason why God prompted my dad to ask me to read Psalm 8.

"You have" (referring to God) is repeated 6 times in 9 verses. Nowhere does it say man does anything. God set His glory above the heavens. God established strength because of His foes. God ordained and established the works of His fingers. God made us but a little lower than Himself and crowned us with glory and honor. God made us to have dominion over all creatures. God has put all things under His feet. I haven't done a thing, except turn away from the God who created me and loves me to wander my own way.

God's attributes abound in this psalm. He is excellent, majestic, glorious, strength, ordainer, establisher, and caring. The synonyms for these attributes overwhelmed me with the vastness and greatness of God.

excellent: priceless, wonderful, desirable, exquisite, incomparable.

majestic: impressive, awesome, lofty, sovereign, stunning, elevated

strength: power, security, stability

ordain/establish: appoint, call, commission, consecrate, deal with, order, pronounce, invest, build, erect, provide

caring: tend to, regard highly, attend to, consider, foster, minister, nurture, treasure, watch, be crazy about, hold dear

While the synonyms gave a greater glimpse of God, the antonyms gave a sobering reminder of myself without Christ. God is excellent and I am imperfect, unworthy, and poor. God is majestic and I am low and shabby. God is glorious and I am disgraceful and contemptible. God is all strength and I am weak and lacking. God is the one who ordains and establishes; I am in ruin. God is caring and I ignore, disregard, and neglect.

Yesterday afternoon I spent some time just thanking God for all He is. The synonyms for caring stuck in my mind and would not let go. God treasures me. He is crazy about me. He loves me. He prizes me. He cherishes me. He watches over me. He nurtures me. He considers me. He tends to my needs. I am something He holds dear and close to His heart. He regards me highly as one of His own. God poured a balm on my heart with all of these thoughts.

As I was thinking about being His, my mind wandered back to the "You haves." Christ has done and is still doing everything. I have not done a single thing to warrant His grace and mercy in my life. I don't have the strength to do anything without Him. I don't have any words except what He has given me to say. I can't see beyond the present moment and my prideful plans will always fail. Christ does all of this and more than I could ever imagine. I am nothing and can do nothing without Him.

I'm thankful that I don't have to try to be strong enough to do what God has given me to do. Although I still struggle with my flesh that would like to regain control. Several weeks ago at Pause Mr. Jeff spoke about "dumping" my flesh. He made an analogy between a girlfriend (or boyfriend) dumping her boyfriend (or his girlfriend) and not associating with that person any longer (for the analogy we were assuming it was a a very bad relationship and the person was a bad influence). In the same way I need to "dump" my flesh, break off the connection and never look back. If I keep flirting with my flesh that means I keep giving Satan a foothold and exposing myself to more temptation.

God is strong enough to help me repent and run and jump back into His arms with wild abandon. I don't have to be strong enough because it is all Him. It always was and always will be.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for all You are, of which I only have glimpses. Thank you for being crazy about me and considering me, a shabby sinner in ruin. Thank you for being strong enough for the both of us. Thank you for always having open daddy arms that welcome be back when I stray from You. You are my God, my Abba, my Father, my Everything. In Your Son's name, Amen.

Well, maybe

Maybe that's the point

To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally

Finally at rock bottom

Well, that's when I start looking up

And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be

Everything that I'm supposed to be

I give up

I'm not strong enough

Hands of mercy won't you cover me

Lord, right now I'm asking You to be

Strong enough

Strong enough for the both of us

-Matthew West "Strong Enough"