when i refer to it. i came to my "real" home for fall break. it has been a nice change being at home for a few days. i had all these brilliant plans for getting some rest and getting caught up on all my homework and enjoying time celebrating my brother and sister's birthdays early. well, that hasn't been reality, except for the birthday part. after lunch today, i became extremely overwhelmed and despondent thinking about all my projects with deadlines looming in the near future. there is so much to do and the days seem to slip by without my notice.
i am restless. i am tired. in some ways that i can't quite put into words i feel stuck in the same old-same old grind. i'm stuck between my frailty and all that God is. i'm stuck between my plans and God's will. i don't like feeling stuck here.
one thing i wanted to do this weekend at home was go for a bike ride on the cape fear river trail. i almost didn't want to go i was so down after lunch. i finally decided to go, despite all the negative thoughts rolling around in my head. the bike ride was wonderful. i soon forgot all about what i was worrying over in exchange for the breeze blowing my ponytail, the late afternoon sun peeking through the branches of the trees, and the laughter as we raced each other up and down steep hills. it felt so good to get sweaty and out of breath and be outside.
on the way home, i told my mom that i was glad i went because it helped ease my mind off of me and all my "to-dos." all my homework is still waiting for me to do eventually and it will get done (i see more late nights in my future). after that bike ride during which i did do some praying the times i rode ahead, God has given me some peace and renewed my thoughts. He is helping me to rest in Him. i am going to stay in that restless, stuck place until i do. resting in Him feels so much better, after i quit struggling.
"restless" audrey assad http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0B2ybZpDeM
michael and i have been doing that trail on bikes for the past few weekends - this was the first on we missed. i read this and went, "man...i might have seen becka there!!"
ReplyDeletei get the stuck. the overwhelm. i am kinda there, too. (ok, not kinda. there.)
my "bike" thing right now is hooping. i plug in my ipod and my body sings. it's like a forced release. (ahem. forced.)
you're right. resting feels better. i love the song. restless for Him with you, beautiful. xoxo
What an awesome song-resting in Him. It makes me think of Percy. That was his theme song- resting on our Lord.
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